How God Freed Me from My Pornography Addiction

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At the age of 13 I was introduced to pornography by accident. This chance encounter would forever change who I was at that moment and who I would one day become. It was the day that I pressed play on the VCR and the images that popped up on the screen would forever be embedded in my head. Little did I know that at that moment I was doing something I would do thousands of times over the next 21 years. The videos that I watched are what I got my sex education from and it is the same education that I would wind up ultimately bring into every one of my relationships.

Several years later I met my wife Darcy and continued bringing pornography into our relationship. During our time together I would even use pornography to coerce her into having sex with me. As our relationship progressed through marriage, careers, and children, pornography was a large influence in my life. During this time I became a very angry, selfish and out of control man.

On December 2nd, 2006 God showed me there was more to love. This happened at an unlikely church event called Porn & Pancakes hosted by XXXChurch.com. It was at this event that I surrendered everything to God. I had the men of the ministry and other people from my church pray over me. After the prayer was finished I knew what my next move needed to be. To tell my wife how bad my addiction had become.

During the entire drive home I was nervous, sweating and very unsettled about what might happen to me when I got there. It was weird but when I had walked in the house she looked at me and neither one of us said a word. I went and got my “stash” of pornography, started a fire, and threw everything in. We held each other as we watched the stuff burn.

After this my passion for helping others who also struggled with addiction to pornography grew. I knew God was leading me to help others. I contacted XXXChurch.com to find out how I could get involved. I began to speak at events just like the one where God showed me I needed to give everything to him. With each time I told my story more weight was lifted off of my shoulders.

It also allowed my wife and I to talk about what we were thinking during the time of my deepest addiction. One thing that killed me is when Darcy looked at me and said, “I am not afraid of you any more.” What did she mean by this? She was scared at nightime, getting ready for bed either very early or after I had gone to bed, just so that she would not have to get naked in front of me. She didn’t want to risk the chance of me wanting to have sex with her and then deal with me bugging her until she gave in. As a husband anytime your wife is scared of you it should make a difference in how you feel. I felt like I had let her down again.

The road to recovery has been anything but easy. In fact there have been many hours of talking, listening and even crying. Even though it was hard to walk through, it was ok because I knew Darcy was walking next to me. XXXChurch.com has helped me start the walk down the road to recovery. For this I will always be thankful. I have recieved blessings and now it is my turn to be a blessing.

At XXXChurch.com we provide support for those who are personally struggling with this issue, those affected by others struggles, and helping those who are in the adult industry get out. The current statistics out there can be overwhelming in regards to the viewing of pornography.

  • Over 25% of all Internet searchs are pornographic related.
  • 47% of families say that pornography is a problem in their household.
  • The adult industry profits more that the NFL, NBA, MLB, & NHL combined.
  • Over 40 Million people visit pornographic websites.
  • 53% of men attending Promise Keepers viewed porn in the previous week.
  • 72% are male consumers and 28% are female consumers.
  • The #1 growing addiction among senior citizens is pornography.

If you are struggling with this make a change in your life and make this your first day of purity. Below are a few tips to help you get on your way.

Confession – Tell someone you are struggling with lust and sexual integrity. Grab someone you know or trust and tell them what you are going through. Keep this conversation open and honest getting everything out in the open. You cannot take a chance by leaving just a hint of this in the dark. This person can be a friend, pastor, church staff, counselor, or spouse.

Accountability – Without accountability there is no way to know whether or not someone is really successful in their recovery. PCs, Macs, and mobile devices allow for us to have way too much access to this material. You need to keep yourself accountable in this area. You can use software like X3 Watch to help provide this accountability. These types of programs will send reports to your accountability partners.

Purity Plan – When you have taken the last two steps you need to step back and look deep into your life and figure out why you turned to pornography in the first place. Is it stress, boredom, loneliness, past history, or something else? Break down your days and find the times that you usually act out. What is going on when this happens? Is there a pattern or common theme that comes up? Develop a plan that counter-acts these times and will stop you from acting out.

4 COMMENTS

  1. I hope you are still porn-free, Brian. Relapses are common with traditional approaches to porn addiction.

    I’m convinced (see mychainsaregone.org) that final and complete freedom is simply obtained when the truth about porn’s central hook, the naked body itself, is fully acknowledged before God. When the mind is transformed to see the unclothed body the way God does—the embodiment of His image, the temple of His Holy Spirit, the incarnate expression of a living, feeling, human soul for which Christ died—porn’s platform for allure is lost.

    Even to view porn, you must first depersonalize another human being and objectify the anatomical gifts of gender which God intended for the procreation and nurture of new little human souls. When we embrace God’s view of the human anatomy, porn becomes abysmally ugly and disgusting. Its deception is fatally exposed when we finally realize that the sight of the most shapely and beautiful human body imaginable is not, never was, and never will be, the source of our lust.

    Bathsheba’s naked outdoor bath, which was the common practice of ancient times, was not a stumbling-block for King David. He’d seen naked women bathing outdoors all his life. The source of the lust that led to committing adultery with her was his unrestrained heart, selfishly desiring and stealing for his own self-gratification what did not belong to him. Porn is an avenue for entertaining a similar form of lust, and it’s much like mental adultery.

    But believe me, the pull of porn comes to a screeching halt when you’re able to weep and pray over the wretched life of a nude porn model or to carry on an ordinary conversation with an entirely naked woman without the slightest twinge of sexual stimulation, which is what I’ve always experienced in my job as an L&D nurse. When a godly realization of the normal, naked body is allowed to kill the fantasy of exploited nudity, reality drives away vain imagination: the truth liberates from the lie.

    Jesus died and rose so that we could have His eyes to see and His heart to care for our female neighbors and sisters, whether they are dressed or undressed. This is the ultimate victory over the drawing power of porn.

    Blessings, brother!

  2. Hello, my name Is Michael, I’m only 17 years old and I believe I have a problem with this issue. I realized that I don’t really have friends I can talk to about this, since I don’t have close friends like this, I would talk to my parents, but unfortunately they are not with me. I wanted to know if there is a way I can talk to you or someone from your church to help me.
    If you can please contact me at granadosmichael.academy@gmail.com or call me at (972)554-0436

  3. Hi. My name is Richard. Im 48 years old. I have been addicted to pulling up pornography sites in my cell phone for nearly 5 years. The thought hit me the worst when i first wake up in the morning. It has turned into like a ritual i do every morning and also late at night. I moved to my current home from out of state. I have few friends and am currently unemployed. About 4 months ago i got saved. Prior to getting saved i had been addicted to marajuana also. I quit that and thought the porn problem wiuld leave with it but it crept back into my life. It makes me feel guilty and it distances me from God. I actually was looking at porn before i found this site. n a thought hit me and i tpyed in my browser “how can God help my porn addiction”. Please tell me what to do because i want a closer relationship with God and it wont happen till i get this sick and perverse addiction gone. Thank you and hope to hear from someone.

  4. I do not know what to say or suggest, he sat for a long time on the site – http://firecams.com/ but they say that there is no so cant say, but rather do not want. And so, just do not see it all. clear your mind, and forget what it is, you ialo other films? And about the nature, national geography and so on. Here is a selection, or you win with the Lord, or to remain a slave of lust and impurity. Although the Bible does not cover this issue as some places. You yourself know everything.

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