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Category: Counseling

Growing Churches that Grow Marriages

The marriage relationship between a man and a woman is a reflection of a deeper and more profound mystery: the unity of Christ and the church. According to Paul, this unity is for the purpose of Christ making His church holy (cf. Ephesians 5:27). If marriage is to reflect this dynamic between the Lord and the church, we have to conclude that holiness is also an integral part of the purpose of God’s presence and work in the marriage relationship.

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3 Things the Woman Caught in Adultery Can Teach Counselors

My time here has involved instructing pastors and lay people interested in counseling on a variety of topics, everything from secular counseling theories to mood disorders to the connection between counseling and healing. As part of my teaching times, I open with a short devotional focused on a particular passage from the Bible.

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The Fear of Being Exposed

Is Jesus saying that the Pharisees are actually “holier than thou,” in need of less forgiveness, and therefore less able to love him? I don’t think so! But their thinking so might be their most self-destructive transgression! Rather, it seems Jesus is exposing their reality. I believe he’s calling them out by saying, “just look at this woman’s beautiful vulnerability with me…you can have this life-giving intimacy, too…come out from behind your protective religious coverings!”

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The Furniture Fiasco (How to Help Those With Resistance to Counseling)

Resistance. […] Maybe it’s the addict who has been court-ordered to participate in therapy, the teenager whose parents are “forcing” him to talk with a counselor, or the child who is reluctant to process her past trauma. Knowing how to respond effectively to resistance can mean the difference between a positive treatment experience and the helping relationship being left more bruised and battered than the desk in my office.

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Sitting with the Hopeless: Learning to Listen Generously

Will you sit with the helpless ones and hear their cries even if you are powerless to break through the walls that bind them? Will you sit and ache with them so they don’t suffer alone? Will you honor the cries that no one else hears and give validity to their pain? Will you face death with a tenacious hope that resurrection is always possible?

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Anxious for Nothing, Part II: Anxiety and New Victory

I needed the one thing I did not have: space to respond to anxiety. Space to make order of the chaos. Space to rest in the midst of panic and fear. Space to see and hear what was pure and true about my life, about me. Space to know that the ground Jesus and I had walked once before was not lost. I was not anxious Ellen exposed for her true self. I was Ellen in a state of anxiety. My old victories were not undone. A new victory was mine just ahead.

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Broken Together: Why You Must Sort through Your Past in Marriage

I’m not a music video junkie, but after hearing this song, I had to check it out. I was spellbound as I watched such a poignant replication of a couple heading toward divorce. I assign homework to my clients. I knew exactly what to assign to this couple: go home and watch “Broken Together” on YouTube.

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